Valentione’s Day Event — February 11, 2018


Everyone is cordially invited to join us for a Valentione’s Day event! Today, we’ll be opening a pop-up maid and butler cafe in our FC house. Stop by, have a drink, and enjoy the eye candy! There will also be a couple of other activities detailed below.

This event will start at 7pm Eastern / 4pm Pacific. Both FC members and friends of FC members are welcome to join us.

Giveaways —

Throughout the duration of the event, we’ll be doing a few random giveaways! Whenever a giveaway starts, I will roll a /random number. Then, I’ll ask the room to roll /random as many times as possible for a brief period of time (15 or less seconds). The person who lands the closest to my number wins! Prizes will range from minions to mounts to crafted gear.

Auction —

The main event is our Love♥Love♥Auction. We’ll be selling off time with our very own FC members! Volunteers will be put up for auction (some may be present, some may not), and the winning bidder is granted some time to hang out with them however the two agree. Book some time with a good friend for fun, or take the opportunity to become better friends with someone you find cool!

The allotted time for these engagements is three hours! Obviously you can spend more than that hanging out if you prefer, but please try to meet this minimum in the spirit of the event. As stated above, both participants have to agree upon the activity.

All auction volunteers will start off at a 10,000gil bid. Following bids must rise by a 10,000gil or more increment. Winning bidders can pay by placing the amount of the winning bid directly into the FC chest. It is then up to the winner and the auctionee to schedule their time together! It doesn’t have to happen on the night of the auction, nor do all three hours have to take place in one sitting.

So without further ado, I would like to give a brief introduction to…

The Goods —


Lunar Heaven

Hello! I’m Lunar. Some of you may know me as The Government™ because I’m always watching, but the truth is, I’ve only got eyes for you!

You can usually find me AFKing around the FC house, but if that’s not up your alley, I can now run all of the dungeons in the game blindfolded, thanks to mentor roulette. I’m an accomplished tank, a decorated healer, and basically the best DPS in the entire world. Just ask my static. So if you need to level or farm, my fast queue is yours to abuse!

You may have also heard about my many accomplishments as a crafter and gatherer. Yes, I do indeed have 1578 craftsmanship. That’s, like, almost 10000. If you need it, I can craft it. (Maybe.)

Outside of FFXIV, I am a woman of many faces: Podcast Junkie. Terrible Movie Enthusiast. Connoisseur of Quality Japanese Animation. Collector of Steam Games I’ll Never Play. Passionate Graphic Artist. Professional Procrastinator. Masked Thief.

Lasso your very own moon today! Because that’s what I am. The motherfucking moon.


Foster Arcturus

Hi. Name’s Foster, but I go by many nicknames courtesy of the FC. But hey, why don’t you give me a nickname?

Like many others in the FC, I stand around like an idiot AFK’ing at the house. Despite that, I’m an educated tank and studious DPS alongside a somewhat mediocre healer. Regardless, if you need a fast queue for that leveling or such, I’m free for that! Aside from my battle classes, I haven’t gotten much round to my crafters and gatherers so I can’t do much for you there.

I think my main selling point here is that I don’t really care about what I gotta do, so if you’re a crazy person and want me to go naked and grovel at your feet everytime you call for it, then I’ll comply. If you just wanna chat or have someone peruse your home to give you decor advice or a second opinion on anything I’ll do it for ya.

Outside the game, I do a bit of stuff. I own a variety of games I play on my spare time when I’m not on FF, but some examples are Dark Souls (1 and 3), Rainbow Six Siege, Blazblue, and more. Got a game you wanted someone to play with and I own it? I’d be glad to play it with ya! I’m also one of the biggest weebs in the FC so if you are a wo/man of culture, then I’d be glad to enjoy some quality anime time with you!

I’m probably not the optimal choice, but Asshat Mcgee here will do whatever you wish for him to do, so why not get your very own asshole slave today?


Astrid Kyteler

Hey, I’m Astrid.

Typically, I’m out in front of the FC house sitting on a bench in queue waiting to shoot foolish creatures with bullets or hidden somewhere working on glamours. Always glamours. I do love working on my appearance, but dammit, I ain’t goin’ broke for no damn black dye. That’s some ol’ bull-

[rant redacted]

That said, I do have a good deal of fun shooting creatures or blowing them up with explosions. Also, as a healer, I’ve been forged in the fires of terrible groups and can get a group out of most situations with at least SOMEONE surviving.

Outside of FFXIV, I’m a lover of action games (love me some Bayonetta), a graphic designer looking for work, a loving hubby and father, a writer of puzzles and story snacks, a bat lover (might as well only have one minion), and a proud feminist.


Luxadin Carwyn

Hiya! I’m Luxadin but you can call me Lux. I may be a bit shy but I can be a bright light in your life. ❤

In FFXIV, I am the local strawberry catswirl. As a PLD main, I can offer you fast tank queues if you wish to level or farm. Other than PLD, I have a BTN and a MIN that can gather materials for you.

If you want a companion outside of FFXIV, you can count on me! I love to try out new things but we can sit in call while we watch anime or a movie. We can also play steam games together if that is your cup of tea. I can’t say I am the best artist but I can draw you something of your choosing.

Capture your own light in the ‘Warrior of Light’ today!

Disclaimer: I will not have access to the computer until the 18/19th. Most of my free time will be on the weekdays after 5pm PST or weekends all day.


Miondil Sivylaeri

Hello! I’m Miondil, formerly known as Arenval, also known as Butthole Brian. Butt for the right price and a limited amount of time I could be your butthole. We could ride off into the sunset, go explore all the holes- I mean dungeons, I can craft you a select amount of items since I’m a butthole and don’t have all crafters to 70, or we could just Netflix and chill, or even better Hulu and culo(Spanish word for ass). I’m usually running dungeons and trying to catch up with all the side holes(quests), but mostly I like helping people run/learn/do content. My best quality is probably my ability to be a butthole, it’s quite special not many people have that ability. I don’t do much outside of FFXIV. Well I do but mostly memeology and pristine Japanese animation, but we can find some common ground. Do yourself a favor this Valentine’s event, and go butthole. You know what they say, once you go butthole you never go back.


Broods Miyuki

My name is Broods and I like long walks on the beach, good coffee, and drowning my sword in the blood of my enemies! It can get lonely out there on the beaches (and the battlefield) and I thought just maybe you’d like to come and join me some time? 😉

More often than not I’m either in queue for a roulette or dungeon of some kind or in said dungeon. I’ve been slowly jumping between three different jobs so far and working to gear them up so I’m always looking to farm tomestones and coins to upgrade my gear. While I may be in dungeons all the time, I’m not a Leeroy Jenkins, so you don’t need to worry about me running off and pulling before you’ve cast Protect.

Those times that I’m not in FF14 I am exactly the opposite of my character. I’m a huge jock and sports nut. If I can find it on TV I’ll watch it. Except for ice dancing…I don’t get ice dancing. Though I do tend to watch some of the most random stuff (just ask my animeplanet list).

Anyway, enough about me! Looking for those fast queues for your dps? Or maybe a pocket healer? Hey, that valentine’s event is going on for a few more days too! Or maybe you just need a friend to walk along that beach while quenching our blades in the blood of your enemies.


Lucy Greene

Hello my name is Lucy Greene. I occasionally run around in an awesome green piggy suit. I’m usually available after classes which is around 4:00 PM PST. I’ve maxed all my classes, YES YOU HEARD ME ALL MY CLASSES and I’d like to say that I’m decent at most of the jobs, so if you need any help clearing dungeons or something to do or just to talk I’m your man or (woman, character is a girl). I’m also a pretty damn good crafter so if you need to level your crafters I can help make your leve items as well as give some advice on how to level your classes.


Tama Chan

Hello! It me, Egg Chan. My former owner Has Boob has eggreed to put me in this auction. Yolk-it to have this chick all to yourself! I am a newbie to this game, but I’m learning fast. I am a very helpful individual, whether it be mundane tasks or advice. Think of me as another Retainer. Am I eggsactly what you’re looking for? Then scramble on over here and bid up. Don’t eggnore this once in a life time opportunity.

Ok, enough with the puns. I am a Japanese/Korean all around gamer who just built a new computer(1080 GPU). I love playing MMOs, Pokemon, Overwatch, League, and lots more. I play whenever I’m not working, cause spending time with friends means less time I could be gaming! I am a Full-Time Cast Member at the Walt Disneyland Resorts in California. I have been working there for 3 years now and I love it. I plan on working there for the next 12 years, then transfer to Tokyo Disney as a bilingual tour guide. I also watch a lot of Anime! This season, I’m currently watching: Death March, A Place Further Than The Universe, Citrus, Katana Maidens, Laid-Back Camp, Slow Start, Ryuuou, Violet Evergarden(my favorite), Overlord II, and a few more that I’m forgetting. If you have any recommendations, please suggest them to me! I watch what and when I can because of my limited free time.

Thank you for taking the time to read my application! I am easy to get along with, so things should be just fine.
-disclaimer: I’m a guy, sorry!-


Noe Starlis

Yo wassup homies I’m Noe. I enjoy long strolls in the forest but I usually end up stuck in Qarn instead. My hobbies include yelling at random people, stalking sprouts to /laugh at them, and growing flowers.

My skills are limited to tanking Satasha (Hard Mode) and playing ancient Chinese ballads on my harp. I can also get you ontop of Kugane Tower if you don’t mind getting married and then waiting eight hours for me to actually get up there. Oh and I can craft corsages ( .!) or fly you around places, as long as it’s within Azys La and Azys La only.

Buy me for a quick and easy Ego Boost – I can lose a match in Wolves Den in under 30 seconds!! That or I could strip, but unfortunately the game doesn’t let me do both at the same time. You can also send me off into the wild with nothing but an axe to gather Humus or La Noscea Oranges. (I’m basically a Free Retainer ( ̄へ ̄)! )

I am Limited Edition, so be sure to come on time and (givemeyour$) bring all your gil!!!!!

Okay bye!!


Chevalier Anderstone

Do you know Chevalier Anderstone? You may feel that you’re familiar with Spectrum’s most brooding bachelor, but do you really know him? Chev’s heart is an enigma; his mind, a mystery. This is a man so elusive that he didn’t even write this himself.

Would you like to request his crafting services for hundreds of items? Have him tell you at length about stupid customers? Perhaps even sit down and enjoy his favorite movie with him (one about a very cool cat, be sure to ask him about it) for a lovely evening together. You could do all of these things and more. (Maybe. If you can fit them into three hours.)

If you find that this bard has shot his arrow right through your heart, place your bid for him this Valentione’s Day! Ugu.